My hand is shaking as I finally begin to write the words “The End” on this chapter of the book which is my life. Not because my life ends there, but because it’s time to write a new book. One with a change in who the main characters are. One where many of the characters who had such an important role in my life during my first book, no longer have that control over who I am. This will be a book where I will redirect my energy towards the people who give back that same energy, rather than wasting it on people who will never return it.
I used to think that I was losing my family and friends when I came out, and even more so after I got married. And that may be true for some of them. But the reality is that those relationships have just changed. Seeing that change take place was very painful. But it is what it is. They are no longer who I thought they were. Change doesn’t necessarily mean I lose them forever, but they no longer have the role in my life that they used to. I can live with that. I MUST live with that.
I need to start this next book with different main characters. Who? How about the family members who have truly stood by my side through thick or thin? How about my loyal friends, rather than the fickle ones? I kept trying to write that first book on and on and on until it had the ending I wanted. I wanted an ending that ultimately transformed the people who rejected me back into the heroes I always thought they were. But the reality is…I would have kept writing forever without ever getting the ending that I wanted.
People change. Relationships change. Even the ones I never imagined would. But that is a reality we often don’t have control over, and that’s okay. We are going to be okay. MORE than okay! Life isn’t just about writing your own story. Try to find the people in life who include you as an important character in their life story as well. And start writing.
Imagine the possibilities when we turn to the people who love and support us the most and say “You…are such an important character in the story of my life. You are someone I want to spend more time with. You add joy and love to my life and I’m so very thankful for you.” Rather than constantly chasing people for affection who have had their backs turned to us for years now…and all just because we can’t let go of what once was.
We can’t live our lives like that. We have to let relationships take the course the other side is causing it to take. It doesn’t always mean you’ll never see them again, or that you won’t make happy memories with them again one day. But they are not the hero of your story. So stop writing them into every chapter of your life as if they will be. The ink is in your hands…and the only path you can change is your own. Create one that leads to peace and happiness.